Confusion consumes me.

So I thought I had finally figured out what I wanted to get a degree in. First an A.A. in Bible from Johnson Bible College than a bachelor's in Creative Writing from some place that I haven't figured out yet. I figured this out a couple of days ago. Some time last week, I think. For some reason unknown to me I didn't realize that was a degree. It's exactly what I hope to do (and get paid for). This was all before my Introduction to Christian Ministry class. Brent Brewer was our speaker, he's my professor for World Missions and Evangelism. He was introducing what the Mission major is switching over into, Intercultural Studies. There's a track in the major I'm interested in studying, Linguistics. I've always had a love of languages. I've even had people suggest to me that I look into Pioneer Bible Translators, the organization on that track that I would intern with if I studied this degree. I really started to get confused and stress out about it. I have problems. One is that I tend to make decisions alot and then change my mind not long after the decision is made, being the whole reason I'm in this situation. Another problem I have is stress I have always had medical problems relating to stress. I've been trying to work on it. I could probably use prayer in that area. That was when I realized I needed to take a step back. What does God want me to do? I always have a problem with not giving it to God and letting him lead me. I don't do it intentionally. I just don't think about it. Which is, in my own mind, just as bad, if not worse. I not only don't bother to ask, I go so far as to forget him. So I took a step back and I started wondering what God wants me to do. I believe that writing is the gift he has given me. Stories come naturally to me and when I don't write them down I all but go insane. I truly believe this is the gift he has given me. I don't think of myself as a story teller, even though that's what I do. I think of myself as a writer because I'm not good when it comes to talking to people. I get nervous and things don't come out right, even when I'm talking to family I've known basically since birth. So anyway I started asking myself what God wanted. I believe He want me to be at Johnson Bible College. I believe He wants me to get an A.A. in Bible. I believe he wants me to be a writer, but that's where I get stuck. I just don't know what He wants me to do from there. I could really use some prayer on the subject. Thanks.
~Susann

A Concert

My friend, Sara, won tickets on the radio to a concert and invited me to go with her. So on Friday after class we went to pick up the tickets. We got lost trying to find the radio station because of incomplete directions on MapQuest. Thankfully we did find it. Then later we found a place to park on the UT campus fine. We had trouble finding the Thompson-Boiling arena and we were late but it was worth it. Taylor Swift opened for Rascal Flatts, two of my favorite artists. The night was well worth it.


10.24.2008

Are you really affected?

It's Monday so I was at SOAR again. I tutor reading so I noticed more than one student come in today and get a book because they didn't have any books at home. I commented on this to the woman who I'm helping. We got into a discussion about the home lives of the children at SOAR. She mentioned how some of the parents live completely on welfare. They collect cans for smokes. She mentioned how one mother sells food stamps for crack. She mentioned how another buys the black felt boards you color with the little money she has instead of food or clothing for her children. One child has actually said his father hits him. The woman I was talking to told me how much social services in that part of Knoxville infuriates her. In this part social services says the abuse is relative. She said it was either that it happens to everyone or everywhere. It was then that I realized that even though I'd heard about this type of stuff before that it hadn't affected me before. Don't get me wrong. I'm not apathetic and I did care. The thought of this had made me sad. Actually meeting the kids though and then hearing what there lives are like made me hurt for them. If you stood one of the kids next to someone who had a good home life for the most part you wouldn't see the difference. The good news is SOAR is three days a week and the children are out of their home for about twelve hours a day. Then on Wednesday most of them are taken to church. On Fridays some spend the day with mentors. The woman I was talking to says that she has two children over on the weekends. They spend the night and go to church with her on Sunday. I just wish something could be done for these children.

Yes, it's true. I'm obsessed.

I am completely addicted to Twilight. Not the Twilight Saga but Twilight the book. There's only about a month left until the movie comes out and I can't wait. This has to be my all time favorite book in the world next to the Bible. They just posted the final trailer. I can't stop watching it. It just makes me sad that my computer keeps freezing and I can't enjoy the trailer as much. I still love it though!





Update: Here is the amazing cafeteria scene!!!!

Color

So I have a question. This girl I'm tutoring, Hadijia, described a lady as white but she assured me she wasn't being racist. Then I started wondering why is that when you describe somebody how they are why you're being racist. I'm white and she's black and that's just fact. Then I was thinking about politically correct names (I think that's the term)why are black people called African Americans? Are all black people from Africa? Also why are white people called Caucasians? Is there some place I'm not aware of called Caucasia? Okay yes I know there are exceptions like Asians and as far as I know they're white too. If you have a real answer I'd love to hear it.

SOAR

It's Monday which means I spent my second day at SOAR. I found out today what that means, Serving Others And Reconciling. I go with interns since I have no vehicle and although I don't really work more than an hour or two I'm gone for about eight hours. I spent more time there then I did during a day of grade school, with the exception of days I had extra cirriculars--namely band. Point is I'm tired but it was worth it. From the time I get there until we pick the kids up from school I don't have much to do, generally I work on homework. Today the woman that works with the students that need extra help in areas, Mrs. Franny, was organizing so I spent the beginning of my time in a classroom. The teacher, Ms. Diane, was going over the story of Samson. Then the kids started homework. Last week I worked with a girl named Hadijiah and a boy named Jose. They were both in Ms. Diane's class. Immediately Hadijiah picks up a book and asks if I'll listen to her read it. It surprised everyone because even though she's in fourth grade and it was a kindergarten book she actually wanted to read. Then I listened to her read a chapter from a book on her grade level. I also listened to a girl named, Monique, read a couple chapters. The thing I really love about tutoring the students in reading is the difference I can see between SOAR and school. We are actually finding books for the students that they will like and help encourage them to like reading. Afterwards I helped serve dinner and that was my day. It's a Christian after school program. The students are involved in worship, crafts, and fieldtrips throughout the week as well. SOAR gives the students a snack as well as dinner and takes them home. I really think this a great program for inner-city students. They have both a elementary and middle school program, I'm working with elementary. I couldn't get over the first time I went to pick up the students that their school has a couple flights of stairs. This is definitely an experience for me. I think I'll continue to help out, even when the assignment that got me started there is over.

Pentateuch

In the five classes I'm taking this semester I really enjoy two of them, one a lot more than the other. First let me talk about the ones I'm not so thrilled about. First Marriage and Family. I don't plan on ever getting married. I also don't want to be reminded of the dysfunctions that my own family had while I was growing up. My teacher also likes giving out projects, something I don't like doing. Then there's my World Missions and Evangelism class. It might be okay if I retained anything I read in the morning. It might also be better if it wasn't at 7:35 in the morning when I'm not coherent. The third not so fun class in Introduction to Christian Ministry. I find that class to be boring. Although we are starting a new book which so far seems to be more interesting. My second favorite class is Gospel Narratives. I know a lot about John and not so much of the other gospels, and I'm curious to how they compare. Pentateuch is by far my favorite class taught by favorite professor, Dr. Owens. So far we've just finished Genesis and I didn't realize how literative it is, my favorite style of writing in the Bible. I heard the stories when I was little but there's a lot I haven't remembered or didn't know. This probably my favorite class I've ever taken even better than Latin which I did love.

Purpose

I set this up because I was looking at my brother's blog and noticed it goes through gmail, where I have an account already. I wasn't sure if I was going to use it or not. I think I will though, that way people can keep updated with me as they wish.