Living for...?

I realized as I made my way to dinner tonight that I am living for two things. Short term I am living for the weekend. Long term I am living for Christmas break. I did not like this realization. I remember being a little homesick the first semester at Johnson but I didn't hate it and once Thanksgiving rolled around I was fine and never wanted to leave even for breaks after that first one. I wonder if the fact that at Johnson your weekend is almost half your week makes a difference. I didn't like my revelation. Growing up in my home I was living for college. Living until high school ended and I didn't have to be there anymore. I left like I'd always waited for and was happy. Now I wonder is it better to live and be happy or is it better to live and be practical? If I am practical I will stay in college and finish my degree. I just want to be happy then I would say screw it and quit school (at least take a break) and just work and live and I think right now that would make me perfectly happy. Right now I just want to live in Oregon near my family, have a job, a place to live, find a nice church and I think I would be perfectly happy. But now I am just living for the weekend. I am struggling to get through the week so that the weekend can be here. I can't stand that I am living this way. I just really don't know what to do right now. The fact that this school is putting me so much into debt and I'm not even happy makes me not sure what will happen next year. I know right now that I am going to force myself to get through this semester and work on bringing my gpa up. Then when Christmas comes I will fly out to Oregon for a month that I know will be way too short. Then I will fly back and do another semester here. Then in the summer I will probably spend the entire summer in FL which will actually be really weird because it will be the longest I have been in FL since I started college. When this summer gets here it will have been four years ago. When September rolls around I think I will either head back to this school or I will head to Montana and until the time comes I really have no idea where I will be. It is a weird thought for me. I am someone who over plans my life to death. The fact that I have no idea what I am going to do next fall is both incredibly scare and incredibly freeing.